What Goes Up...
What Goes Up... is the first episode of the second series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on the December 3, 2002. Summery Sharon and the dogs are in the backyard. Lola the bulldog then vomits on the grass. Ozzy then tries to show off his knife throwing skills by trying to throw knives into logs. As Jack is in the car going somewhere he makes a call saying there are fans on the lawn and the sprinklers should be turned on to scare them away. Sharon then shows Melinda a gold filling that she had accidentally swallowed. Ozzy then announces that he and Sharon have been invited to Washington DC for a press dinner at the White House. Ozzy doesn't know how to handle it and he doesn't know proper etiquette, he's a street guy. Sharon helps Ozzy pick out a watch to wear. Jack then announces that Kelly has covered Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach" and that she would be singing it at the MTV Movie Awards. This leads to a scene of Ozzy dancing with Kelly while the song plays in the background. Jack then tells us that he had a part in Kelly getting signed to a record contract and Kelly discusses that she doesn't want a chick band. Ozzy and Sharon leave to go to Washington and Sharon tells Ozzy that she got President Bush some cuff-links as a gift. Ozzy asks how is she going to give The President a gift. Ozzy says that he's the President...he's not allowed to accept gifts. They arrive in Washington and drive past the Washington Monument and Lincoln Monument. Sharon admits that she doesn't know who President Bush is and that Ozzy is starting to get stage fright. Back home, Jack continues his playful attitude with fans and the sprinklers. Kelly then goes to rehearsal and she steals Jack's spritz bottle. Jack tells Kelly, "Just because you have a hit song doesn't mean you can steal my spritz bottle." Back in Washington, Ozzy and Sharon are getting ready for their dinner and Sharon says that Ozzy looks like Harrison Ford. Ozzy says he looks more like Glenn Close. He then calls Sharon a cunt, but then quickly apologizes. He then looks into the camera and says, "I found out you can say anything to a woman. But you mention the "C" word and you suddenly get this feeling of death come over you." At the dinner President Bush says, "What a fantastic audience we have tonight. Washington power brokers, celebrities, Hollywood stars, Ozzy Osbourne." Then causes Ozzy to stand up with a big smile on his face and the crowd applauds him. Ozzy then flies to England and Sharon joins Kelly and Jack. At the movie awards, all the attention goes to Kelly, while Jack is on a quest to find Natalie Portman. Ozzy introduces Kelly and she does a great performance. That night on the ride home they pass a McDonald's and Jack is happy to see that the McRib is back. This irks Kelly and he tells Kelly that it's the little things in life that make people happy. The episode then ends with Jack continuing his antics with people outside his house with sprinklers and Kelly flies to New York to promote her album. Gallery What Goes Up.../ Gallery Memorable Quotes Trivia *In the commentary it's revealed that the new dog Arthur was given away because he kept eating cat feces. *Sharon's ironic final quote was said 24 hours before she was diagnosed with cancer according to the commentary. Category:Series 2 Category:Episodes